It was 04 August 2019.
It was Sunday just in the evening.
There was this darkest heavy rain around me I have ever seen in my life.
I felt dizzy and I fainted it felt like my soul wanted to leave my body in the middle of that lost moment, I was fighting within myself “saying this can’t be happening now Lord” feeling like with every passing moment I am going to the after life. What a horrible challenge, a traumatic event ever, I could not believe what I was feeling.
They called me, with their loud voices shouting my name Thobile! Thobile! I could feel a dark cloud covering me more.
I heard them it was like I’m dreaming, but my mind was all over, I was not able to think and recognizing the touch of their hands that they holding me and calling me, I responded. Mind you! With no idea what I’m saying.
Was outside the house, they waited until I came back to my senses, then they took me and brought me inside my room. I was bombarded with funny questions from them cause they didn’t know what’s going on.
Did you eat?
Have you rested enough?
I answered them yes, I did eat and sleep but still was in the middle of this dark dream wilderness, can’t even explain how I was feeling, it was so extreme but to them It was like I was crazy and everyone else if I share what’s going on they did understand me like a ringing noisy bell, so hurting…
My body was trembling and overwhelmed, I was feeling hot, I just laid down on a cold floor and slowly getting better till I could scream!
But then it wasn’t over, a girl in a confused pit. My heart started racing faster than usual and shaking.
Within a blink of an eye, it was like I’m living in my own world nobody understood me, what I was saying. It was a start of a new journey for me, crying for no reason was because I was really lost.
I consulted the GP doctor, checking everything in my body. The result came clean “there is no sickness in your body only your BP” the doctor told me, and he asked me what I was stressing with?
He transferred me to the therapist also and I had to answer questions how I felt again & again?
Another creepy journey, so bad.
Where my story goes like:
Panic, worry, fear, feeling like I’m gonna die, loosing control, at times, like I was going to go crazy, a pain in my chest, like hard to breathe, scary, racing intrusive unwanted thoughts, sweating, during the day blurry eye vision like I’m dreaming, insomnia scared of sleeping. All this things freaked me out, it’s all started the day I fainted.
The response was Thobile…. You suffering from severe anxiety.
OMG! mhmmmm (sighs)
Wasn’t even awere what is that it was just like an artist rehearsing a song with no meaning to me until she explained it to me what real anxiety is…
A creepy horrible scenario of life I’ve ever went through.
Thank you so much for reading🙏❤️ take good care of yourself… Much love!!!